That though we may come from different countries and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one.



kyrafic:

"…happier than me watching Coach watching Winston yawn."

Like, how can you possibly NOT love this show.

(Nick and Coach giggling while they imitate Winston’s yawn ;aisjd;fa.  I JUST CANNOT.)


generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me


boots-n-cats:


my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 

Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.


spaghettipeej:

spaghettipeej:

i think i accidentally ate some of my grandma’s ashes that were on her bed

MY GRANDMA SMOKES I MEANT CIGARETTE ASHES


penandpage:

itssexualhour:

so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop


sucysucyfivedolla:

like it’s not “whoops I’m PREGNANT AGAIN tee hee time for an abortion!!” 

nobody fuckin does that. nobody

it’s more along the lines of

do you want an abortion or do you want to die

do you want an abortion or do you want to watch your baby die after a week

do you want an abortion or do you want your life to fall apart around you because of a child you are either unable or unfit to support

do you want to give up a fetus or a living, breathing baby


boyfriendhook:

In which Jaime required coffee in order to sit through the wedding vows. [x]

OMFG BEST MISTAKE EVER


#got

theirtinywings:

samjohnssonvt:

gryphonrhi:

thezhenger:

chris control your goddamn face you have just gone through an extremely painful super-serum transformation you did not just have the diddly doo orgasm

…actually, at this point, Steve’s just now experiencing the sudden absence of both recent extreme pain and long-term low level pain.  He’s probably so high on endorphins that the expression is completely accurate.

Also, he was asthmatic. This is the first time in twenty years that his lungs work. Ever had an oxygen high?

Might not be an O-face folks, but homeboys high as a kite.



Did you think that your feet had been bound
By what gravity brings to the ground?



aladdinvevo:

i think im in like like with you


howimetyouryellowumbrella:

katneedname:

Thanks for the lesson, HIMYM.
Too bad you couldn’t take your own advice.

Hypocrisy thy name is HIMYM.

howimetyouryellowumbrella:

katneedname:

Thanks for the lesson, HIMYM.

Too bad you couldn’t take your own advice.

Hypocrisy thy name is HIMYM.


policecodeforzombieontheloose:

buzzfeedgeeky:

Gospels from the mouth of DanRad

"fuck that, I’m Harry Potter"